The Summer Party Scene

Last weekend the party train took off from the party airport with me and my friends aboard and we partied hard on the cool crisp taste of Carlsberg's latest brand of drink: Party Beer. Ok, so it was just regular Carlsberg beer but make no mistake it caused a party.

Some of the things that happened included Punch Out, Slaps and Street Weed.

Sounds violent and weird but trust me we laughed and didn't feel weird.

Now I am about to embark on a mini vacation to the surprisingly beautiful Sarnia, Ontario. Yeah that's right, now I know usually people think of tall smoke stacks and polluted water when they think of the SARN. But truth be told the waterways are quite clean and the jetskis are plentiful.

Don't believe me? Check this out, dicknose:

That's me in the SARN, jettin like a real water guy.

Jettin, that's what we call it in pure SARN town. Lets talk about Jetski's for a second ok?

Here's your regular, non jetski summer:


Now here's your summer with one jetski:

That's right, just the addition of one jetski to your summer turns you from a crying Chinese kid being made fun of by his peers to a cool teen in shades puffin on a dart who fuckin loves the Cleveland Cavaliers. But what would happen if you added MORE JETSKIS?

2 Jetski summer:

2 Jetskis later and you are a wicked cool dude who's got it all figured out. Your hat and moustache might look dumb to everyone else, but you're at a sweaty dance party with your buddies and you don't gve a shit because you're drunk and all hell and even though theres no babes in THIS picture, you're just not worried about it.

AND FINALLY, what I am actually about to partake in, the elusive 3 JETSKI SUMMER:

Congratulations because you've experienced a 3 jetski summer you are the coolest dude around.

You are Han Solo.

Now go outside, ride those 'skis, and party so damn hard that when you get back to work on Monday or whatever, you can tell all your lamewad co-workers that you are frigging Han Solo and you rode 3 jetskis to the damn Alderaan system but when you got there you partied so hard you blew up the whole goddamned planet. And then tell them to SHUT UP!

Everyone have a good weekend.

BYE.