The Summer Party Scene

Last weekend the party train took off from the party airport with me and my friends aboard and we partied hard on the cool crisp taste of Carlsberg's latest brand of drink: Party Beer. Ok, so it was just regular Carlsberg beer but make no mistake it caused a party.

Some of the things that happened included Punch Out, Slaps and Street Weed.

Sounds violent and weird but trust me we laughed and didn't feel weird.

Now I am about to embark on a mini vacation to the surprisingly beautiful Sarnia, Ontario. Yeah that's right, now I know usually people think of tall smoke stacks and polluted water when they think of the SARN. But truth be told the waterways are quite clean and the jetskis are plentiful.

Don't believe me? Check this out, dicknose:

That's me in the SARN, jettin like a real water guy.

Jettin, that's what we call it in pure SARN town. Lets talk about Jetski's for a second ok?

Here's your regular, non jetski summer:


Now here's your summer with one jetski:

That's right, just the addition of one jetski to your summer turns you from a crying Chinese kid being made fun of by his peers to a cool teen in shades puffin on a dart who fuckin loves the Cleveland Cavaliers. But what would happen if you added MORE JETSKIS?

2 Jetski summer:

2 Jetskis later and you are a wicked cool dude who's got it all figured out. Your hat and moustache might look dumb to everyone else, but you're at a sweaty dance party with your buddies and you don't gve a shit because you're drunk and all hell and even though theres no babes in THIS picture, you're just not worried about it.

AND FINALLY, what I am actually about to partake in, the elusive 3 JETSKI SUMMER:

Congratulations because you've experienced a 3 jetski summer you are the coolest dude around.

You are Han Solo.

Now go outside, ride those 'skis, and party so damn hard that when you get back to work on Monday or whatever, you can tell all your lamewad co-workers that you are frigging Han Solo and you rode 3 jetskis to the damn Alderaan system but when you got there you partied so hard you blew up the whole goddamned planet. And then tell them to SHUT UP!

Everyone have a good weekend.

BYE.

Party Jamz Guy!

PARTYTIME!

So far this summer has been a non stop roller coaster ride of softball, comedy shows, Ghostbusting and staying up way too late when I should be sleeping. It has also seen the return of a harder party, the likes of which has not been seen out of me since University days when I used to give obnoxious westside hand signals in pictures and drink lots of not-obnoxious malt liquor.

In this party renaissance of late I have grown fond of being in control of a party's music and if I can convince the sucker who's party it is to let me, I'll try my best to get a strong dance party started. Now I'm not a DJ, but I've gained a lot of respect for that profession as a result. However there are some songs I just wish DJ's would give more respect to, some personal favourite party jams. And they go like this:

Feel Me Flow

Naughty By Nature
Poverty's Paradise
1995

There's no youtube link to this song anymore so here's the MTV.ca video:
http://www.mtv.ca/music/video_search_play.jhtml?id=260249&input=Naughty+By+Nature

Naughty By Nature makes the best Hip-Hop anthems, hands down. OPP, Hip Hop Hooray, THIS SONG. These guys just know how to get a party bouncin. Trust me, much like in the video, play this song on a hot summers day, maybe while you are sitting around your friend's convenience store and just jam.

Hey but seriously, what happened to Naughty By Nature? These guys were so cool EVERYONE was in their video for Hip Hop Hooray. Even Eazy E! You knwo these guys have got cred when Eric Wright shows up in their video even if it is for a very unhappy 3 seconds.

For similar jams also see: Naughty By Nature - Jamboree; Naughty By Nature - Hip Hop Hooray; Salt N Pepa - Whatta Man

Walking on Sunshine

Katrina & The Waves
Self Titled
1985

The embedding is disabled for some completely terrible reason, bad luck so far with these videos eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eONhto0x_nI

Ok, you may think I'm crazy for this one. But trust me gang, if you're hitting a playlist that contains some 80's or early 90's music and people are not feeling the party as much as they could be, toss this high octane waterslide of a song on and people will go nuts. Girls especially love this tune and it makes them jump around like idiots. Which in this case is great.

I call this song a waterslide because in grade 6 I won Wild Water Kingdom tickets from popular disc jockey Tarzan Dan on AM 640 and he played this song right after having me say how much I loved his radio station. I taped that onto a radio compilation "tape" that I ended up keeping till high school. That tape was the best. I'm pretty sure I also had Sure Shot on there. Also I had that song Wide Load. Hey man, they can't all be winners ya know?

For similar jams also see: Pointer Sisters - Neutron Dance; Huey Lewis & The News - Power of Love

Young Turks
Rod Stewart
Tonight I'm Yours
1981

Ever been at a party with a bunch of hipsters who don't really know how to party? Like they want to party but they keep thinking it has something to do with scarves? So they end up standing around trying looking bored on purpose? No, me neither I don't hang out at those places man, weak scene. However if you were at such a lame party by accident, play Young Turks and watch the smiles creep across everyone's faces as they sing along and eventually dance along with this amazing party jam.

Rod Stewart may not be the first name you think of when I say the words PARTY JAM but one of the craziest dance parties I've ever been a part of started with this song and got to the point where people were coming in off the street because the house was rocking so hard. In short, ROD STEWART now equals PARTY JAM.

For similar jams also see: David Bowie - Modern Love; Phil Collins - Sussudio

So next time you throw a party and are thinking of music to really get it bumpin, don't be so fast to ONLY play your favourite Lil' Jon Krunk-inspired mashups or your CD of Jock Jamz 97, try on a few upbeat songs that maybe people have forgotten about or just underestimated, you'll see a marked improvement in babes to dudes ratio and you just might have a wicked dance party.

New shit

So you may have noticed some changes around the blog if you haven't been here in a while. Biggest is the name and theme of the thing. No longer is this a blog JUST about my opinions on motion pictures. Now it will contain many opinions from me on just about anything. I originally had intended the theme to give me fuel for things to write about, but lately it has been more constricting than freeing. Also, since the name DJ Sports' Movie Blog doesn't make sense anymore I've decided to call this thing "Let the Wookiee Win: A Blog" mostly because I couldn't think of anything else. Ok also I changed the layout even though I dont think I like it. We'll see.

Ok thats everything for right now. Until I have something to actually say, laterrrrrr

Cool Star Wars thing and Fav movie #39!

If you read this blog you know I like Star Wars. So to that end here is a really cool link to a SomethingAwful photoshop contest where they Star Wars-ified classic art. Results included things like this:



Alright on to the actual blog. I've decided to pick up where I left off with my fav/least fav movie list.

Favourite #39

Annie Hall

I was introduced to Annie Hall in university by my now most trusted source for movie advice, (except when it comes to Star Wars Episode 2) my friend Greg. I must say I have to thank him for showing me easily the best romantic comedy of all time.

Rom-com is not a genre I easily enjoy. Then again, Annie Hall is a Woody Allen movie first and a romantic comedy second. Really, I don't even feel right saying its a romantic comedy, I feel like that demeans the picture. It's so much more than that, so much funnier and real than any stupid romantic comedy made in the last 20 years by far.

In this movie you find out a few things you may not have known.

a) Diane Keaton was once a real babe.

b) Woody Allen is truly hilarious and he hates L.A.

c) Christopher Walken is in this, and surprise! He plays a creep. (Ok I guess you might have known that but its the original creep performance from him, so it's real funny and not just kind of "meh" like some other Walken movies. Who by the way, I love, but really the guy will do anything.)

and finally

d) This movie contains the funniest parking/curb joke I've ever heard.

So in conclusion, if you haven't seen any Woody Allen movies and you can only see one, I'm pretty sure this is the one to watch. So do that. Also figure out why it is you can only watch one Woody Allen movie.

Couple of Recent Flicks

In between playing the amazing Fallout 3 on Xbox 360, I watched a few movies last week. Some were new, some were old, some were right in the middle there. Last week's newer entries in the "Movies I Watched Roundup" were The Wrestler and Ghost Town, here's what I thought of 'em.

The Wrestler

Mickey "The Stork" Rourke and Headshrinkers' former manager Afa,
remember the Headshrinkers? Samu and Fatu? If you don't, you can;t come to my next wrestling-themed costume party.

When I heard about The Wrestler back around TIFF I was pretty stoked. As a pretty big fan of wrestling I was pretty excited to see a realistic, hard hitting, character driven piece based on something that you don't see tackled in movies very often. Much like the 1999 documentary Beyond the Mat, it's a fairly depressing look behind the scenes of a sport and a type of person most people have little to no respect for and it forces you to love both. Mickey "Mittey" Rourke really is amazing as Randy "The Ram" Robinson and Darren Aranofsky's choice to shoot the thing almost entirely hand held gives it the much needed documentary feel. I say much needed because the style of camerawork helps ward off the shittyness of the somewhat shitty scenes featuring Evan Rachel Wood. Seriously, Evan Rachel Wood is a wookiee when it comes to acting. In order to get her point across she just kind of makes unintelligable grunts and noises while waving her arms in the air. Bad casting choice? Ahyeah.

All that aside though, the thing I really loved about The Wrestler was that you really believed that Randy The Ram was a real wrestler. In fact I wish he was real, what a great finishing move! the Ram-Jam? Are you kidding me? Double elbow smash off the top ropes? Why hasn't anyone else thought of that? Great flick, if you haven't seen it yet, please do so. Marisa Tomei's boobs are also in it, and they give a solid performance.

Ghost Town

Why did I watch Ghost Town you ask? Well, despite not being a fan of romantic comedies (except those starring John Candy and/or Robert Downey Jr) I am a big fan of Ricky Gervais and since this is really his first film where he is the star, I figured I should see how he handles it.

Well the good news is this: Gervais is very funny, Greg Kinnear is his regular charming self and Tea Leoni gives a surprisingly likable performance considering her role could easily be soooo annoying. Despite these solid performances, Ghost Town is boring. Even Ricky Gervais being pretty funny and showing he can actually act too, isn't enough to separate this movie from countless other ghost-related romantic comedies/dramas.

That last comment actually says a alot because I currently think Ricky Gervais is one of the funniest people on the planet. Man, I can't wait until the movie he's writing with Stephen Merchant is done. Oh baby is that ever going to be funny. In fact, if you were to ask me what I think this movie will be like while I was on a roller coaster, I might give you this reaction:


So in short, see The Wrestler, and skip Ghost Town unless you really love Ricky Gervais but even then it's not that good.

My next blog entry might be ALL about Terminator 2 and how it might very well be the perfect movie, obviously aside from the original Star Wars Trilogy which, if watched back to back to back, is the perfect movie.

Until I update again, go listen to Guns & Roses' "Estranged" and air guitar your fucking dick off.

Your pal,
Andy

2008: The Year Comic Book Movies Got Respect

Looking at all these year end best of lists and reflecting on the year that was 2008 I can honestly say this: Goddamn it, I am so happy Iron Man and The Dark Knight exist. It's as if all of us comic book reading geeks cool guys who have been screaming and pulling our hairs out over terrible superhero movies in the past have been not only heard, but proven right.

For sure my favourite comic book I discovered on the
internet: Devil Dinosaur. Hey everyone, make this a movie!

What have we been screaming about you might ask? Well, how about about the way superhero movies are made - from studio plot meddling (All Punisher movies), major character changes (Fantastic 4 & X-Men), to the need to dumb every movie down and handle it with kid-gloves. (Every comic book movie ever.)

Pure kid gloves, guy

With respect to such films as Fantastic 4 and X-Men, why would anyone change the plot and/or characters in a comic or graphic novel that has been successful for decades in order to make a movie that appeals to people who didn't care about it in the first place? Here's the thing: these stories are good, these characters and their origins are good, that's why people read the comics in the first place. Also, I understand the kid gloves thing, you don't want your film rated R because teens and kids are the biggest audience for films, but don't try and shoehorn a story about a psycho vigilante Vietnam vet murdering mobsters into a movie where John Travolta mildly pisses off a baby-faced Uncle Jesse lookalike.

I take it back, this is a pretty good villain, Tarzan John Travolta

If you make a movie based on the original stories and characters, regular people will come. Regular people are dumb, if they see something flashy that a group of other, different people are liking a lot, they will go look at it. Even if they aren't totally pleased and then afterward go see "Disaster Movie" and still say it was better, they will see the sequel to the movie they didn't like anyways because they're retarded. To quote Terrence Man from Field of Dreams "People will come Ray, people will most definitely come."* Luckily now (because you studios are listening to us nerds cutting edge spacemen) the movies are good and even more people are coming because the films aren't just flashy things, they're flashy things with substance.

*In this quote Terrence Mann is me and Ray Kinsella is movie studios.

So while these offenses seem to be on their way out, I must say my favourite thing about this new breed of comic book adaptation is by far the treatment of the characters.

Let me lay something on the ground for you. I pretty much hate the Spider-Man movies. They are for kids, by kids. Wait, no that didn't make sense, they are just for kids. Ok so, maybe they're not the worst, in fact the main reason I hate them is the way Spider-Man was not really a character I could identify with despite the situations he was put in that were obviously written so that I would. Poor writing? Poor acting? Poor directing? I'm inclined to believe it's a combination of all 3. It doesn't say much that by the end of the trilogy I felt the 60's version and the 90's FOX Kids version had more depth and likability than Toby Macguire and Sam Raimi's brutal big screen wiener. This all seems to be turning around however because of great scripts (David Goyer), actors treating the roles with respect (Heath Ledger) and directors who want to say something rather than just put a summer blockbuster together to make some cash (Chris Nolan).

Really I'm just happy our beloved protagonists are no longer just cliche spewing cartoon characters. Hopefully this trend continues and we will see a lot more of our favourite comic book heroes and villains getting treated like real characters thanks in no small part to the aforementioned Heath Ledger, Christopher Nolan and David Goyer of TDK, and also to John Favreau & Robert Downey Jr. of Iron Man and sort of to Ed Norton from The Incredible Hulk.

Speaking of TDK, yo remember tapes?

Wow I just read over all that and I have to say my grade 12 English teachers were pretty right on, my awful writing lacks direction and coherence. Sorry for being a shit writer guys, DEAL WITH IT. -AH

OH GOD LOOK OUT!!!!!